I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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