Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
