God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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