He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
