Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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