That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
