This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
