Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
