break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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