Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
