You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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