yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
