he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
