Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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