we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
