Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
