kristin has been a bad kristin
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
