Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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