You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
