Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
