dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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