halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Alive.
So much puke
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
