Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
