I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Damn victory sex feels great
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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