idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
