I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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