My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
