I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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