this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
