I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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