Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
