She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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