saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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