I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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