he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
