Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
