Sacagawea was the original milf.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
