i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
No subtext here. People are naked.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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