please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
