If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
