The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
