One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
