Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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