I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize