his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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