The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
