Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
