Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
