remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
