you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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