Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
