Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
