2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I need to wash the frat house off of me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
