If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
cat food counts as protein by the way
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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