his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Sorry about my life...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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