'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
How does one acquire holy water?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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