I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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