I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
