I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize