Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Is Oprah even human
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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