During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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